At the beginning of every yoga class, I tell my students that the room is filled with loving kindness. There is not a class that goes by where I don’t see someone smile when I say that. Because it is a beautiful idea. However, most of us are really good at treating others with loving kindness – but what about yourself? Do you treat yourself that way?

The thing about being a woman over 40 is that we now have 20 years plus of conditioning – we need to be skinnier, we need to be kinder, busier, more accomplished, always happy, great mums, friends, daughters, we need to eat superfoods, wear the right clothes, exercise like crazy and of course we need to have time for ourselves.

Aaaaaargh! To be honest I feel exhausted just writing that last paragraph.

So how can we get the balance right? How do we start to treat ourselves with the love we actually deserve?

Let me offer you my 3 best tips:

1. Reprogram the negative habits

I used to wake up every morning and get out of bed and pull up my shirt to check how “fat” my tummy looked that morning. Let me tell you, it’s not the nicest way to start the day! (This also goes for those of you who weigh yourself EVERY. SINGLE. MORNING!) I had to train myself to stop doing that. And believe me it took some time. Instead, for 30 days I looked myself in the mirror and said “I treat my body with the love & respect it deserves”. Yes it felt totally weird but by the end of the 30 days my morning habit had changed.

2. Change the script in your head

If you paid attention to all the things you said to yourself, you’d probably be horrified! I frequently hear women call themselves “you silly woman” or worse “you stupid bitch” when all they’ve done is drop something or forgotten to run an errand. Have a good hard think about this… how do you speak to yourself? Next time you catch yourself saying something nasty to yourself try and change the script. The best way is to say what you’d say to your best friend in the same situation. If your friend dropped something you’d probably ask her if she was alright (especially if there was shattered glass around her feet), you wouldn’t call her a silly woman (I hope!)

3. Get in touch with your body

For many of us, our bodies are the things we are hardest on. Skipping meals, bingeing on crappy food, not exercising because we feel uncomfortable in Lorna Jane (or they don’t make it in the right size!) My advice here is to confront the fear. Do something that involves your body. I think yoga is a great place to start. But giving yourself a massage with some beautiful essential oils can be beautiful, or buying yourself some new workout gear that feels comfortable or allowing yourself the rest you know your body is craving.

You can also learn to look after yourself better by subscribing to my free 3-part video series. In this series you will receive an 8 minute full body toning workout, plus one food hack that will increase your energy levels and a little-know what to reduce your midsection without a crazy exercise or diet regime. You can subscribe here: